Blog #757: I Am My Sneakers

I felt it.
I really, really felt it.

All of it.

The serious heat.
My empty legs.
My slowing pace.

______

I had been walking over an hour.

I started the walk when it seemed a manageable 79 degrees.

Looking at my phone at that moment…

It had climbed fast to a scorching 84.

I could feel the heat in my lungs.

I was on a dusty fire road trail with little shade.

I was somewhere in the middle of my third mile.

My exhaustion pushed my eyes down.

And there they were.

Still carrying me.

Still moving.

Forever faithful.

My dirty sneakers.

______

Black ASICS.

Balding bottoms.

Dusty.

Dirty.

Very, very worn.

It’s the pair I wore crossing Scotland.

England and Ireland before that.

I smiled when I saw them lifting my feet.

My tiredness slipped away.

My sneakers reminded me of who I am.

I’m a guy who gives it his all.

Even when I’m far, far from looking my best.

I am my sneakers.

My sneakers are me.

______

These left and right partners were bought for a mission.

Not the mission most sneakers get of looking stylish or cool.

Mine were never meant to stay clean.

They were meant to walk through mud.

And rain.

And dust.

They were meant to climb serious mountains.

And slip and slide down the other side.

They were meant to get beat up.

And torn.

And a lot ugly.

They were meant to live life, giving it their all.

Just like me.

Just like you.

______

Because a life lived with heart leaves scars.

It gets used.

Wounded.

Pinched.

Punched.

Worn.

It gets ripped.

It gets soaked.

It gets stepped on.

It hurts like hell.

But if we do it right…

Our life gets lived.

______

I’m big on this thought.

People stop living before they stop breathing.

Sometimes they never really start.

They get scared of having dirty sneakers.

They protect their shoes.

They protect themselves.

They don’t take the roads less traveled.

They stop being beginners.

They stop risking embarrassment.

They stop chancing rejection.

They stop chasing adventure.

And at the end…

They never fully lived.

______

The price of keeping clean sneakers?

They never experience life.

So you don’t either.

When that happens…

The end of life hands you a one-word receipt:

“REGRET.”

I’m not taking that one with me.

______

So, yeah…

My sneakers will get used.

They’ll wear mud.

They’ll be dusty and dirty.

They’ll wear tears and snags.

They’ll always have balding bottoms.

Because I want to live the stories they have the potential to tell.

The stories that whispered, “I was there!”

After I tried.

After I failed.

After I got back up.

After I put a band-aid on it.

______

My sneakers and me?

We’re living.

Going places.

Experiencing things.

Falling down a lot.

Getting back up more.

To the end.

______

A reader recently emailed…

“What goals does a guy like you have?”

My answer:

“To die with muddy sneakers.”

______

Use your life.

Get your sneakers muddy.

Maybe not with dirt.

But with courage.

With hope.

With possibility.

With trying.

Live with guts.

Whatever your mud is…

Walk into it.

Because one day…

I don’t think we’ll be proud of how clean our sneakers looked.

But I do think we’ll be proud of how they lived.

Live your muddy sneakers.

S.

👣

(I was here.)

(Audio version)