Blog #761: He’s Gone

Meet the hims.

The him I WAS.
The HIM I am.

One of them is gone.

______

There’s two of THEM.

The him I WAS, he could…

Plan his work from 8:00 to 8:00. Do it. And throw in hours on the weekend.
Walk 20 miles with a 20 lb. pack. And do it for 25 straight days.
Run a business with 100 employees and over 500 clients.

The HIM I am, often…

He’s tired before he even starts. And he confesses to himself:

“I don’t have it in me today.”

That truth sucks.

______

Because…

I remember THAT guy.

He could keep running.

Keep going.
Keep creating.
Keep climbing.

And NOW…

When my ideas are running fast…
I often wish THIS dude would quit being so slow.

But THAT old him is gone.

He’s not coming back.
He’s somebody I used to know.

He’s somebody I used to BE.

______

There’s two of THEM.

The him I WAS.
The HIM I am.

Only one’s here now.

And I can’t wish for the OLD him to return.
I need to stop looking for him.

I need to see what I can still BECOME.

______

I’m certain this isn’t just MY story.

It belongs to you, too.

It’s about transitions.

Yours.
Mine.
Ours.

1. The new mom who remembers when it was just her.
2. The newly married person who wakes up with more dishes in the sink.

3. The newly promoted person who discovers the new job is a bear.
4. The new homeowner who learns the dream comes with paying for broken water heaters.

5. The newly divorced person who learns Saturday night is a lot different.
6. The unemployed person who feels as if they’ve disappeared.

7. The new caregiver who’s suddenly taking care of aging parents.
8. The old runner who once ran 10Ks and has turned into a walker.

Different transitions.
Different circumstances.

Same hard, human struggle.

______

And then…

Our reality changes.

We remember who we were.
We remember what we could do.
We remember what life felt like before everything changed.

We cling to wishing THAT person would come alive in us again.

We plead:

“How do I bring back the life we ONCE had?”

But I can’t bring that life back.

And the sooner we accept that, the sooner we can ask a different question.

“How do I live as ME in the life I NOW have?”

­­______

I’m not asking you to make peace with what you feel you lost.

But…

I am asking you to stop chasing the life you lost.
And start living who you still can BECOME.

Here.
Where you are.
Today.

Times change.
Lives change.
We change.

Feeling me?

______

If right now…

You’re standing in your own life-altering moment…

You.
Are.
Not.
Alone.

He’s with you.
She’s with you.
I’m with you.

Together.
Individually.

Here we are.

In our NEW lives.

Still here.

Still becoming.

Be the new HIM.
Be the new HER.

Live your new freakin’ YOU.

With guts.

S.

(Audio version)