Blog #743: When Showing Up Starts Costing You

Some questions don’t need advice.
They need clarity.

Especially when your heart
is pulled in two directions.

Like this one.

______

“I keep showing up for someone who keeps taking from me. Am I right to keep hanging in there with this person?”

______

My answer:

Dear Friend…

That’s not an easy question.

Because giving your best matters.

But there’s a line.

Most of us don’t see it until there’s less of us left.

I’ve crossed it.

I’ve had conversations where I gave everything trying to help.

Nothing changed.

Except me.

Quieter.

Distant.

Heavier.

Smaller.

I wasn’t helping anymore.

I was disappearing.

That’s where the line is.

______

Give your best.

Don’t give yourself away to prove it.

It’s like loading rocks into a wheelbarrow.

At first, it’s easy.

Then you add one too many.

Then it tips.

And the rocks fall.

And when you tip…

the truth falls out, too.

You weren’t lifting them up.

You were letting them pull you down.

______

Trying is right.

Until it starts taking from you.

Your energy.

Your peace.

Your edge.

Ignore it long enough—

and you don’t just feel drained.

You are.

______

So what do you do?

You walk away.

Not because you don’t care—

because you do.

Enough to stop losing yourself.

Because showing up shouldn’t cost you who you are.

And if it does—

It’s not helping anymore.

Because once you start disappearing…

there’s nothing left to give.

To anyone.

The final question you need to ask?

Do I leave this person with less of me… or more of me?

______

I hope my words add an ounce to your thinking.

I wish you well.

With humility and gratitude…

S.

(Audio version)