Blog #547: I Hate the Haunts

Dear Shawn,

When do you know it’s time to give up on a goal? When do you say F’ it and quit? I’m getting tired of trying and thinking it’s never going to happen. When do you quit?

______

That was the email

An unknown address.
No hint of the goal.
No signed name.

But I know the question intimately.

“Do I quit?”

I’ve asked it 100 times.

______

(My response to the email.)

Dear Friend…

I’m not a good person to answer your question.

I’m a lousy quitter.

BUT…
I used to be really good at it.

Earlier in my life…

When the rewards weren’t coming and my efforts were seemingly going nowhere, I’d lie to myself and believe that I didn’t want the goal anymore. It was the easiest route to take when my spirit had lost its spirit.

But all those times I did quit?
They haunt me.

And I hate the haunts.
So now I don’t quit.

______

REGRET.

It’s an ugly word…and the world’s worst head roommate. It shares no sympathy, and it seems to know how to nudge our brains in the most painfully reminding of ways.

Because I’ve met REGRET too many times…
I no longer quit.

I keep climbing.

In the wind.
In the rain.
In the cold.
In the whatever.

Reaching the mountain TOP?
I’ve learned not to make that THE goal.

Finding the courage to keep climbing?
That’s my goal.

When I’m climbing…
I’m not failing.

And I’m also not regretting.

______

Perhaps…

My answer is not what you wanted to read.

But as I typed at the beginning:
“I’m not a good person to answer your question.”

Or…

Maybe I am.

You decide.

Gratitude for the question…

S.