Blog #544: NOT George Clooney

“You know WHO you look like?”

The question’s never really a question.
It’s a comment that’s coming.

The “question” hit me recently as I introduced myself to a new hiking group.

“You know WHO you look like?” the woman asked.

With her bold stare and simple question, I lost my single ounce of coolness…and went all-in on the “deer-in-the-headlights” look.

The rest of our small group grew quiet as eyes darted between her…and me.

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I tried to comedy my way out of the uncomfortable moment.

I playfully answered: “Ummm…George Clooney?”
“You look like Jim Carrey,” she answered.
I teased: “Are we talking Jim from the movie ‘Dumb and Dumber’?”

The group laughed…and the moment’s tension was diffused.
The conversation shifted…and I gratefully got all eyes off me.

I’m not a fan of that kind of isolating attention.

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But little matches how uncomfortable I felt in this next moment.

I was recently sitting in a big Jacuzzi…sharing it with four other people I didn’t know. I was staying quiet and trying to ease tired muscles when one of the occupants broadcasted to the group that she was in the cosmetic field. Botox, fillers and “making people beautiful and younger again” were her thing.

She willingly became the Show.

One woman asked the “expert” what treatments she’d suggest. She was told. The others asked for an opinion about their faces. They freely got it.

My mouth dared not open as I shockingly watched her unashamedly dissect each face. I should have kept my eyes closed. Next…she turned her unsolicited attention to me, and without permission, she boldly shared with the group all my facial flaws that cosmetic surgery could fix.

“He needs ‘this’ and ‘this’…and lots of ‘that.’ The crease between his eyebrows has gotta’ go. We can do a lot for him.”

Suddenly…

I was again in the 9th grade with a terrible case of acne. I was reminded of the raw hurt that comes from kids (and adults) who feel free to be cruel.

At least as an adult…

I could process my moment and understand that the problem wasn’t really ME.

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Society is obsessed with the Outsides.

But this critical obsession with the Outsides and doing what it takes to “pretend” we’re younger inevitably leads to millions with deeper unhappiness.

Father Time isn’t stopping.

Age increases a day…every day.
And as we age… hair falls out and lines and sags increase.

It’s just life.

Sadly…

When our appearance rules our brains the most…
we doom ourselves to be unhappy the MOST.

We’re fighting a game that can’t be won.

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Sincerely…

Our Outsides don’t even represent who we REALLY are.

It’s our Insides that are gold.

Are you…good, kind and sensitive?
Are you…positive, encouraging and supportive?

Are you…compassionate, empathetic and honest?
Are you…thoughtful, considerate and selfless?

Are you…responsible, ethical and courageous?
Are you…intuitive, creative and passionate?

Are you…a learner, a listener and self-aware?
Are you…enthusiastic, friendly and humble?

Are you…authentic, optimistic and respectful?
Are you…dependable, consistent and grateful?

Unlike my uncontrollably changing hairline…
I can control these qualities.

And more than the growing lines around my eyes…
these are qualities that make FAR more of a difference in the world.

______

Our Inside game.

It’s the true difference maker.

May the focus on yours keep you forever young.