Blog #584: The 40 Seconds I Lost My Shine

I TRY to be careful with my words.

In this age of “Gotcha!“…
I don’t want to be GOT.

But even with trying…
I recently lived a horrifying 40 seconds.

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To begin…

I acknowledge people.

When I’m walking, I say “Hi!” to people I pass.
When I’m shopping, I do my best to add positive energy to the cashier.

And on and on.

Sometimes…

It’s easier to do than other times, but no matter how I may be feeling in the moment, my feeling doesn’t dictate what I do. My general self-rule is:

“Add POSITIVE energy to the Universe.”

In doing so…

It’s a WIN for me, too.

I learn new things.
I meet new friends.
It makes life interesting.

______

People.

We never really know what they’re going through.

When a person’s path crosses ours, we have no idea what their life is like. We don’t know the stresses they’re carrying, the hardships they’re enduring, the fears in their heads or the circumstances they’re trying to overcome.

So in me trying to shine a little shine…
maybe it helps someone else’s SHINE…too.

At least that’s my hope.

BUT…

This past Sunday, my shine turned terribly dim. If I could have turned into a blade of grass and disappeared…I would’ve.

______

Here’s my “wishing to disappear” moment.

She was walking her dog towards me.

My first impression was: “She’s pregnant.“
I KNEW in my head to double-check before I opened my mouth: “She is.“

She smiled and said: “Hi!“
I said: “I see you’re smiling for TWO.“

Her smile disappeared.
She stopped walking.
I stopped breathing.

“Uh…oh!“

“What does that mean?” she sternly asked…her smile now departed.

My brain kicked up to Indy racecar PANIC speed. I KNEW to tread very carefully as to what I said next. However…I didn’t even know what to say next.

Silently I was whimpering: “She’s NOT pregnant? Oh…crap! What do I say? This is humiliating!“

She stared with an angry face.

I said out loud: “Ummm…“

She said: “What? Do you think I’m pregnant? Do I LOOK pregnant?“

Again, I said: “Ummm…“

It was my current “go to” word choice.

______

So yeah…

I take this “Add POSITIVE energy to the Universe” thing seriously.

The thought of me SUBTRACTING from someone’s harmony and sending them into reverse, well… it subtracts from my own well-being, too. And in THAT moment, I was sitting on the top of a giant MINUS sign.

Horrifyingly I thought: “She thinks I referred to her as FAT!“

______

And THEN the disturbingly silent chaos stopped.

Her smile grew BIG.

Her laughter turned hysterical.

“Gotcha’!” she laughed.

I dropped to my knees.

I mean… I literally hit the ground, falling on my knees.

What amazing, sensational, beautiful…RELIEF!

“Oh…thank you!” I sighed.

My body could breathe again.

It had been without oxygen for 40 seconds.

______

We laughed together HARD.

She asked my name.

She shared hers.

“Bern” was seven months pregnant, and this was her second baby. Her first child is 11 years old. We speculated on all the ways raising a kid would be different today than it was starting eleven years ago.

When she left she said: “Thank you for making my day! That was the best reaction I’ve ever had! I hope I run into you again, Shawn!”

I never had so much fun being sooo humiliated.

______

ONE gift.

ONE lesson.

That’s what Bern gave me.

The gift? A chance to laugh hard…with tears.

The lesson? “Never stop having FUN with living!”

I know in my heart I need to do both…MORE.

As for you?

That’s yours to decide.

S.